Reinvention in the Mirror

"Inspiring you to reinvent yourself"

Dear Friends,

I’ve written five new posts in my imagination since the last one that actually made it to you. (Each brilliant in its own way.) Today, I want to open up a bit of my character for our collective inspection, reflect on the reinvention I’ve been sharing since February, and let you know why I paused.

“It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.” Just like the giddily playing kids whose parent must yell this cliché, I began my journey of reinvention with little idea of the risks. For one thing, it did not dawn on me, though it should have, that this blog and my FB pages would be stalked by someone without my best interest in mind. As I hope you’ve figured out, there are aspects of my life that I do keep private, writing nothing about here or on Facebook. Besides simple discretion and courtesy to others involved in my “reinvention,” I am sensitive to the idea, developed in social science, that to observe something is to change it in some way. So, I share with you what I am open to your influence over – you, meaning the innumerable people, currently known to me or not, who may ultimately read these musings. By opening myself to your observation, I know that my experiences themselves are somehow altered. All the more so, as I am describing my life to you with intent and choices; of course I’m aware of and influenced by your presence.

This blog is about growth, learning, joy, gratitude and excitement. In these areas, the more the merrier! Come on in for a swim in these pools of my mind; splash around; make some noise; run, even, if you wish. It’s safe and I welcome it. 

Why did I start the blog this year? Because I have illnesses that have forced me to change direction; because I was too ill to work and what on earth was I going to do with myself? Because I have financial and familial circumstances that one could consider dire. (Okay, that are dire.) Because I am much lesser abled than I ever was, in life-critical ways. Because everything must change because everything has changed.  

My response to those truths is to dwell as much as possible on these equally available truths: that there are also good circumstances in my life, that I have plenty of blessings to count, and that to a great extent, I get to choose my private and public responses to the losses. (Jewish tradition includes very sensible distinctions between public and private mourning.) It is not the circumstance that defines one, but the response.

My cyber-stalker – yes, someone I know – believes that if one is true the other must be a lie. Either I am in dire straits or I am joyful.  If I write about joy and good fortune here, that belies my “claim” of difficult circumstances. If my physical and financial difficulties are true, then – obviously – I am lying to you in this blog and on Facebook. This person has decided that I lie habitually and that I have little integrity.

So I paused. To ponder. To give the stalker less fodder for misinterpretation. To wonder, am I being truthful with you? After much deliberation, I came to this thought: 

Pthththththththththththththth!!!!

It may be harder to burst with joy when counting too few pennies or when feeling knocked off one’s feet, but it is by no means impossible. A stimulating conversation may do it, as may evoking an infant’s smile. 

Watching a cat choose the posies’ planter as a cat bed has done it. Seeing FB photos of former students loving life does it. Chocolate ice cream does it (duh!), as does linguistic and philosophical discourse with a new FB friend.

I don’t yet have the answers to my fiscal well-being, and I don’t know how I will live a productive life with the ailments that limit me. I don’t. I grieve plenty, in private and to my closest confidantes. It scares me not to control the outcome, not even to know it. 

What I do know is that for me, joy is the antidote to fear. Laughter pushes stress away. Creative expression lightens the burden. Loving family and friends soothe my achy soul. And that, my dears, is no lie.

So, after this, back we go: to aspirations, inspiration, and the occasional stinky perspiration. Back to joy, growth, and beauty. Back to learning, reinvention, naysayers be damned.

Thanks for reading!

Love, Rhonda

The Muck Between the Bucket Seats

"Inspiring you to reinvent yourself."





Dear Friends,

I'm just sitting for a moment. Recapturing my breath on a cold and accomplished day. Homemade sipping chocolate rests cooling close at hand. More to do, more to do. In a bit, I promise.

May this fibro-woman hear an "ooh, ah," for each of these accomplishments?

• Get out of bed. Get dressed right away. (Huge.) 
• Feed the cats, water four creatures and let the dogs out. Give each some one-on-one loving. 
• Resolve a TurboTax issue by seeing if it would resolve itself: It did. Taxes filed. 
• Fail to design a business card on Moo.com. If at first you don't succeed, procrastinate. 
• Phone meeting: brief, warm and productive. 
• In-person meeting: brief, warm and productive. 
• Get bank paperwork done in under fifteen minutes. (I'd prepared ahead.) 
• Eat lunch while chatting with my niece. 
• Get snow tires changes to all-weathers. This meant: clear heavy things from car; put heavy things in car; do crossword puzzles and email; shop on Amazon Mobile; and clear heavy things from my car again. 
• Remove car muck. I believe the Talmud states that car muck over a k'zayit ("like an olive") must be removed by hand two weeks before Passover. Four freezing months' worth of fallen popcorn, dried pear stems, gluten-free cookie crumbs, seltzer can tabs, faded gas receipts, lozenge wrappers, used napkins and broken tooth-flossers. 

It was the muck that got me. Leaning across the driver's seat, right elbow up on that storage thing, left arm stretched full length into the passenger foot-well, I realized that I could not move. My legs were straight back, toes barely touching ground. My arms had no leverage; whatever muscle tone in the past would have popped me right back up was gone.

This was slapstick. "Stan....ley!" (Young 'uns, no one alive should miss Stanley Laurel and Oliver Hardy’s work: http://www.laurel-and-hardy.com/)

I scissored my legs, seeking traction. Nope.

I collapsed my right arm. Really!? Why?

I clutched at the crushed pen cap, flopped over sideways and, finally, wormed myself backward until my toes gripped tarmac and I could bend my knees.

Up I bounced, practicing what my feline friends have taught me: Land on your feet; shake yourself off; say, "I meant to do that," then walk away slowly, with your tail in the air.

No one saw. (A wiser woman might not have blogged about it.)

Tonight, you ask? There's a bedroom to tidy, laundry to load, a Paypal account to open, and an office to organize. So if you need me, look for me in front of an episode or two of NCIS.

Please share, follow, like, and comment. I don't yet understand why, but I think it matters.

Thank you.

Love, Rhonda

Here's what warmed me, besides your company: Rhonda's Almost Vegan Sipping Chocolate:

6 oz        Silk Almond-Coconut Milk
6 chips   Ghiradelli semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 packet Stevia, any brand
1.5 Tbs   Unsweetened cocoa, Hershey's or finer
1 dollop  Whipped cream, chilled

Microwave nut milk for 1 minute. Assemble other ingredients. Add cocoa, chips and stevia. Stir with a fork to dissolve powders and attain a foamy top. Heat again, 30 seconds at a time, until desired warmth is achieved. Peak with whipped cream. Sip, being sure to establish nose-tip to whipped cream contact. Moan happily.

The Door that's Closing

My mission: Inspiring you to reinvent your life.

Friends, 

In my years as a school leader, I've been asked thought-provoking questions about the work itself. This one came to mind this week, with news I may now share (read on). 

"Rhonda, what is the thing you teach most, that you never imagined you would teach at all?"

Great question! If only I could remember who gets the credit. (Asker, step forward if you are among us! It was about 2006 or 2007.)

My immediate answer: 

"How far behind you people need to be before you don't have to hold the door open for them."

I've been teaching door manners to children and teenagers for years. I even attempted (success undetermined) to teach them to a cantorial student whom I taught and mentored in his professional studies.

(Remember that with every answer, a nice smile and greeting should accompany the gesture for optimal impact. And with every door held for you a "Thank you," or even "Thank you so much," is in order.)

1. 8-10 long paces. The person should be more than three steps away when the door closes behind you.
2. 15-20 when the person seems frail, is pushing a baby carriage or carrying heavy packages. 
3. As long as needed when an old person is walking toward you alone. What's the rush when you can honor your elders?
4. Add 5 paces with a self-closing door. It's real work to re-open while it's closing.
5. If, as door holder, you are very young or weak, it is perfectly acceptable to allow the next person to take the door, fully open it for you and hold it for others.
6. A woman choosing to honor gender-traditional manners and arriving before an unknown man may hand off the door to him and walk through first. When arriving in the company of a man, she may choose this method or invite him to open the door for her.
7. A man choosing to honor gender-traditional manners, and any woman, may generously hold the door for all men and women arriving reasonably after him.
8. Frail elders and those pushing strollers must always be excused for not holding a door. An apologetic glance from them makes forgiveness easier.


Following door decorum treats everyone to good will, a smile and the opportunity to do or receive good amidst each day's (literal) comings and goings. 

My Announcement

This week, I begin closing the door of a 32 year long career in Jewish education and a 17 year stint in school leadership. I stepped down as head of Albany's Bet Shraga Hebrew Academy of the Capital District. I will consult with the school through June, particularly in re-envisioning its future. Thereafter, I hope to volunteer and keep working toward a future I can practically taste. Hebrew Academy's board graciously accepted my notice and enthusiastically affirmed leadership succession by the sitting Principal. 


I am done earning my living in schools. I have reached my physical limit. I loved the work so much, and I did it well; now I am ready to take a less structured and physically demanding professional  path. I need to write and hope to figure out how to make a living from my laptop.

A Haiku in Honor of Retiring as Head of School
Sleeping without angst,
Breath now seeking calm passage --
Snowy light and faith.

At Hebrew Academy, I set in place strong, stable management. I have striven to hold open the door for my successor, Principal Julie Pollack, and her leadership team. Despite my taking an earlier departure than expected, I know that Julie will stride into her new role confidently, supported by her colleagues and me to succeed at this sacred, never-finished work.

I'll end this post on two disparate notes:

1. The Talmud's Rabbi Tarfon is quoted to have said: "You are not obligated to complete the task, but neither are you free to desist from it" (Pirke Avot 2:21). I seem to live that line. I have begun so many bits of work yet rarely got to see them finished. I do love beginnings, though, so I cannot wait to see what work I am to do next!

Oh, Maker? Oh, readers? Thoughts for me?

2. A perfect cartoon arrived on my FB feed this week:

http://imgfave.com/collection/200156/Quotes

Thank you for reading. Share this widely, please, and share your thoughts in the comments.

Love, Rhonda

Newbie at Being the New Me

Friends, 

Today I begin crafting a new life, a new normal that increases my joy, pays my bills and slaps my fibromyalgia upside its head. 

Welcome to my journey's journal. Here's my mission for this blog:

"Inspiring You to Reinvent Your Life"

My hope is that Reinventing Rhonda will amuse, elevate and inspire you. That it becomes a touchstone of sanity and a haven when you are fatigued. That it provokes reinventions of your own and stirs a conversation among us that grows our dreams, aspirations, joys and accomplishments.

Mocha Lisa's Caffe, Clifton Park, NY

Please share this widely, as I hope for much virtual company along the way. After all, I have many coffee shops to visit, naps to take, projects to plan (and sometimes do), wonders to take in and opinions to air. Inspiring you is my motivation for making this a mindful journey.  



A bit about me, to date.

The word "easy" is apparently not in my birth contract. As in, "And this girl child will have a smooth and easy ride through life." Or as in, "Life will come easily to this cute little peanut -- always exactly as planned." Not even as in, "She will have an easy time in love and money." 

I keep reviewing the lengthy document and the E word simply is not there.  

Conversely, the word "gift" is present in many numbered and lettered paragraphs of the Divine's legal document.  As in, "She will have the gift of loving and unified parents and of living in a free and prosperous time and place." Also as in, "This girl child will develop the gifts of intelligence, empathy and determination." And as in, "The gifts of love, education, and worthy challenges will mold this sleepy, happy baby into a passionate and compassionate adult."

Other ways I describe myself: 

Boredom equals death, so almost anything that's not boring is better than boring.

Among the most blessed people I know. 

Passionate. About interests, causes and my work. Also about love and sex. (Yay!)

Auntie Rhonda.

Sad, tired, achy and sometimes -- this moment inclusive -- itchy. I live with the chronic condition called Fibromyalgia. Sensations in my body are like a room of fun house mirrors -- distorting, shifting, disconcerting and ever so slightly nauseating. For years, my hypothyroidism (low thyroid hormone production) went undiagnosed. It is well treated now, though damage done to my body and self-esteem demands repair.

And in Conclusion...

And in conclusion, let's begin. I promise honesty, empathy and positive intent. Also random references to my beloved alpacas and yurts. 

Join me. Let's see what we can make of this together.

With love, Rhonda